[ We find Alcinoe and Kenji on their fifth round of good, strong mead. They've both failed several fortitude saves by now, and we all know what that means. ] [ The pub they chose is packed with dwarves of varying stoutness, and they're all talking and laughing loudly. ] [ Seems a merry place, it does. What could possibly go wrong here? ] [ Sidesession start! ] This... is really good. Have I said that? It's really good. * Alcinoe giggles, nodding, and peers at one of the glasses she has, though there is actually only one. "How come Ah never see any of it at home?" Dunno. It's kinda sweet. What's it made from? [ "Honey," says the bartender as he passes. ] * Alcinoe hears that, then points at the ceiling. "Honey!" She laughs. Honey. Good stuff, honey. I don't have any stories about honey. [ Not far from you, you can hear a discussion on religion rising in volume. ] Do you believe that? I thought we had a story for everything. But no stories about honey. Ah bet we could make a story 'bout honey. What kind of story? s'gotta be a good story. A good story. The best story! 'Bout honey ever, 'kay... uh... there was a bucket 'a honey. Hokay, bucket 'a honey. What happened to it? Did it get drunk? Where does the aged master fit in? Every story needs a wise old master. Maybe the honey *was* the old guy. * HKenji blinks. * Alcinoe beams! That makes perfect sense. The wise old man is now a bucket of honey. * Alcinoe nods. "An' that's what makes it a good story." An' it had... students. Yeah. I know! The students turn the wise old master into this fine beverage! * HKenji slams the rest of his mug of mead. ( I'd like you both to know that I am cracking up constantly in here. ) ( ^_^_v ) [ Kenji needs a fortitude save! ] ( Kenji voluntarily fails. ) (Sweet!) * Alcinoe waves her mead. "An' then it's all drunk up!" And she drinks it, too. And then the schtudents, they drink the wise old mashter. And they get enlightened, too! * HKenji stands up and screams at the top of his lungs, "ENLIGHTENMENT!" * Alcinoe bursts out laughing, actually falling off of her chair. [ A couple of the dwarves cheer Kenji's announcement, even though none of them know what he's going on about. ] Bartender! More of this liquid enlightenment! Our mugs, they are empty! HOW CAN THIS BE? * Alcinoe climbs back onto her chair, still laughing. [ The bartender brings more mead! In metal steins, even. ] * HKenji picks up his stein, raises it high, and yells, "To the wise old master who became this fine beverage!" * HKenji falls back onto his chair and drinks up. * Alcinoe raises her own. "Cheers!" And gulp. * HKenji brightens. "ooooh, I got a good idea." Let's hear it! * HKenji reaches into his sleeve, pulls out paper, a quill, and ink all in one go, and quickly pens a note. * Alcinoe blinks. Then blinks again. "Whazzat?" * HKenji puts the quill and ink away, then holds the paper up and reads it while it dries. "Ana-chan - going to destroy a drow city onna suichide mishion. Wish you were here. I'm in dumerthoin's deep. -Kenji" Perfect! * HKenji reaches into his other sleeve and pulls out a small metal bird statue, to which he attaches the note by wrapping it around the bird's leg. Ooh, purty. Are you sendin' a note? A love note? Yeah. Most romantic thing I've ever wrote. Let's go kill people! Aaaaaaah, I wish she'd warm up to me. She's so pretty. Like you, only different. * HKenji leans down and whispers a word drunkenly to the bird, which animates and takes off into the distance. [ The birdie flies away! ] * Alcinoe waves at the birdie. "Byyyyyyyye!" [ Meanwhile, the religious debate (Who would win in a fight between Gawain and Tyr) continues to grow more heated. ] Birdy birdy find my true love! * HKenji takes another drink of mead. She's yer true love? Really? * Alcinoe hiccups. Dunno. Just a shilly stuper... er... stuperstition. Catch a pretty birdy and tie a message to its leg and when it flies away it goes to your true love. Shilly, innit? * Alcinoe ohs. "But you didn't catch it!" ( The bird comes back and lands on Alcinoe's head. This means you're both DOOMED. ) Nope. Dinn catch it. don' wanna know my true love. Jus break her hart. Jus like Tia. Aw, but maybe it'sh worth it. Like... like maybe she's pretty too. Don't matter. Love is so bad. Bad bad bad. Whole lotta trouble. If I have a true love, I hope she looksh like Ana-chan. * Alcinoe sticks her tongue out at Kenji. "You like red hair." She waves, sloshing alcohol. "Like mine!" And has a big gulp of mead. Yesh! You an Ana-chan look so much alike. So different, though. I juscht about died when I shaw you two standin' like that. But Ah don't want ya dead! Ah should change mah hair color. Mebbe blonde. Ya think blonde'd look good? NO! Ver purty jus like it ish. But ya might diiiiiie, Kenji. Worth it. * HKenji nods definitively.] But then we can't bring ya back! * Alcinoe looks genuinely distressed, waving her mead around like that. sokay. I promise I won' die. Jus fer you. * Alcinoe stops, just like that. "Ya promise?" Promish. You shilly gaijin very odd about promishes. Shamurai doesn't hafta vow. He says it, that'sh how it'll be! [ Suddenly, the religious debate breaks out in fisticuffs. People near the initial brawl get hit on accident, and thus the fight begins to spread. The bartender sighs. ] (Psh, the guy who says Gawain's better is going to win, naturally.) * HKenji ignoresh it, like any good shamurai. (He kicks butt. Not as much as Galahad, but a lot.) But Ah wanna make sure! Here, pinky promise. * Alcinoe holds out her pinky. * HKenji looks confushed. What'sh thish? It'sh a pinky promise. Ya put yer pinky around mah pinky... * HKenji sticks his pinkey out. "Uh, my pinky doeshn't go far enough." That's 'cause ya need ta reach over, silly. * Alcinoe does that, puttiner her pinky around Kenji's, and shakes. "Pinky promise," she says solemnly. "No dyin'." (Putting her No dyin'! * Alcinoe smiles. "'kay, no dyin'." She removes her pinky from Kenji's and then looks around. "What'sh goin' on?" Dunno. Who caresh? [ A dwarf gets knocked back and hits Kenji. Meanwhile, pretty much the entire establishment is now involved in the fight, as per the special magic of barroom brawls. ] Gaaaaaah! * HKenji picks up the dwarf and throws him hella far. * Alcinoe stands up and points. "HEY! No hittin' Kenji!" [ Kenji sails the dwarf about three feet, but he still lands on top of another dwarf. Much confusion ensues. ] Hey, you wash shupposta go further! * HKenji stumbles after the dwarf for another try. [ Suddenly, armored dwarfs start pouring in through the entrance! They all wear identical armor and half-cloaks, so they must be the city guard. This suspicion is further reinforced when they start arresting people, and still further when a dwarf shouts, ] * HKenji blinks and picks up a dwarf to throw at the pigs! * HKenji falls over backwards under the weight. ( Was just about to have that happen, actually. ) Alshi! Halp! There'sh a bloody fat dwarf on my chescht! [ The dwarf mumbles something that might be "'M not fat; 'm stout." ] Big boned, even, now get offa me! Uh, 'kay! * Alcinoe stumbles over and picks up the dwarf. She nearly falls, too, but she manages to toss it a short distance away to... wherever. [ The dawrf sails right into a copper, who actually catches him and hauls him outside. ] ( Er, dwarf. ) * Alcinoe waves cheerfully. "Bye!" Baibai! Fatsho. [ Several more guards come in and put cuffs on Alci and Kenji! ] [ No, really. ] Huh? Hey! Ah'm a paladin! Ah didn't do nothin'! * HKenji blinkblinks. Whatsh goin' on? [ "Tell it tae th' judge, ma'am," says one of the dwarves leading Alci out. One of the ones leading Kenji says, "Yer under arrest fer disorderly conduct." ] Arresht? Whatsh that? It'sh, like, they take ya ta thish place with bars 'n' stuff. But not the kind ya get enlightenment in. Oh. * Alcinoe stumbles along. * HKenji stumbles along beside alci. Ish it fun? [ "No," say all the dwarves in unison. ] Bummer. * HKenji makes a sadface. :( Yeah, it'sh where they put bad people. ... That means we're bad! We're not bad! We're shaving the wurld befor bedtime! Ah know! We're gonna save the wooooorld! (Oh God, we typed that at the same time.) ( We did. ) [ Soon, Alci and Kenji are piled into an strong-looking carriage full of several surly, drunken dwarves, and carted off to... the same citadel they first came to, actually. Or rather, a satelite facility near it. They're cajoled inside, where they share a cell lined entirely with thick iron bars. ]